How do you let go of anger when someone hurts you so badly? When you are relying on the drink, it is easy to grab the numbing substance and drink away all the thoughts and feelings. But the thoughts and feelings will be there for you when you come out of your drunken haze. So what do you do when you are getting sober to get over all the anger and hurt that other people cause you?
Gandhi once said, "Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong." Humans are naturally a self-preserving species and we love to tell the entire world when we have been wronged. We also love to make sure that the person that wronged us, pays for their indiscretions. We want other humans to be accountable for their hurtful actions.
It is so important to remember that when you feel angry your ability to be able to think clearly and negotiate get harder and harder. It becomes clear very quickly how hanging onto anger actually hurts you 100% more than it hurts the other person. Holding on to grudges are painful for us to maintain. This anger also keeps us from what we ultimate want, which is happiness and joy. Every person on this planet is roaming around just trying to find their happy place.
Letting go of unnecessary anger gets you to that happy place quicker. Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't about forgiving as fast as possible, we need time to heal our wounds. Suppressing your emotions can be just as detrimental as holding onto to the grudge. Do not minimize or ignore what happened, you were hurt, you need time to heal. Storing up a bunch of emotion takes up a lot of energy and resources, so make sure you are giving yourself ample time to heal.
However, there comes a time (and only you truly know this time) when the anger and grudge starts to turn into an identity of VICTIMHOOD. Our anger starts to define us and gives us a sense of solidness and purpose. Letting go of the grudge is easy, just release it. However, it is obviously slightly easier said than done. It is important to be honest with yourself and what happened to you. Be vulnerable, allow yourself to cry.
In time, choose to forgive them. This doesn't mean condoning their behavior or that you get an apology. It means that you stop giving power to the conflict, you cut off the energy your mind is giving it. You stop talking about it and release it.
Letting go of anger can only be done by you, you have to go through the process and you have to be honest with yourself about the circumstances.
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