Updated: Mar 19
Loneliness, it is not necessarily about being surrounded by people—because you could feel lonely in a crowd—but about your mentality. When you feel lonely, it’s usually because you aren’t quite satisfied with what you have, whether it’s in that moment or throughout your life. However, feeling lonely isn't necessarily a bad thing, it could be a reminder that something's off about your social environment and that you need to prioritize your happiness. This is the key, work on feeling grateful while experiencing loneliness, learning to adjust your social lens to one that’s more positive.
See our YouTube video on this here.
Admit you're lonely.
The first step to moving forward is getting real about what you're going through. Most people try to deny they're lonely, or they assume they must just be anxious or depressed. There tends to be a lot of stigma surrounding loneliness. Many people are ashamed to admit they feel lonely because they associate the experience with social isolation and otherness.
It's not just you.
We're not alone in our loneliness.This is a great opportunity to remember that, just like anyone else, you have the power to get yourself out of this situation.
Don't deny or distance.
People need people, don't let the shameful and self-critical feelings that accompany loneliness kid yourself into thinking you don't actually need anyone. Everyone needs to feel loved.
To make sure you're letting loneliness drive you toward the right thing, consider signing up to volunteer. Soup kitchens may not be as plentiful with COVID, however, there are help lines and Facebook groups you can join to volunteer your time and give back to people in need.
Make a schedule then commit to it.
Maybe your life's in need of a little more structure outside of the normal waking up, eating and working out. It's harder to feel alone when you a plan and a purpose. Set alarms throughout your day, or fill out a daily planner (we offer an amazing 90 day planner that will jump start your life into the focussed direction you might be craving, check it out here.)
Having a plan to call your mom, going for a walk, do an evening foot soak or spend an hour organizing your dresser drawers might be just the think to keep your mind busy and giving you a a sense of control. Once you've come up with a schedule, stick to it as much as you can.
Who do you love or care about? Next time you call, rather than exchanging the same old how are yous and fines, actively listen to and really engage with the person on the other line. When they mention something about their lives, ask them for the backstory and let them talk. Remember, just like you, people are thirsty for attention. Everyone want to be heard to some capacity.
Reframe your loneliness into solitude.
Solitude is different because it's a choice, you can turn your loneliness into solitude—time spent alone doing something that's meaningful to you. What is something you 'never have time for' but you have always wanted to do? What is something you need to do while alone, but you never seem to get alone time? Well, why not use this time of solitude to jump in on those projects that you have been looking for time to do.
Write a book.
Do a puzzle.
Record a song.
Workout at home.
Get a second job.
Reach out to us! We are always here for you!
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